Senior Humor

Great Truths About Growing Old

  • Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
  • Insanity is my only means of relaxation.
  • You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoes and wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
  • You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
  • Perhaps you know why women over fifty don't have babies: They would put them down somewhere and forget where they left them.
  • One of life's mysteries is how a two ounce bag of candy can make person gain five pounds.
  • I finally got my head together, and my body fell apart.
  • There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is already full.
  • Time may be a great healer, but it's also a lousy beautician.
  • The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.
  • Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone.
  • Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.
  • Freedom of the press means no-iron clothes.
  • Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but they can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake.

Submitted by Flo, Germantown, Md.
  WEBPAGE 3/16